Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
