these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
