Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
