i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
