my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
