But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize