You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
