I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
