why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
