i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
