yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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