is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
