She is in my trunk
barbara walters just said penis...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
