We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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