Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
