I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I am mentally ready for anal.
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