I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
