The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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