I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
