I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Drunk is a universal language darling
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
