No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
