It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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