but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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