Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
