we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
