I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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