I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Come on in and take your pants off
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