Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
