I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
