Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
