her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
