Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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