dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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