I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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