The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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