Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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