Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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