Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize