i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
