I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just want nice things and good sex
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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