Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize
