...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
