that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
