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it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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