Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize