More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize