New invention idea: vibrating tampons
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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