hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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