i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
