Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
