Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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