that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
