Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize