She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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