I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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