i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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