hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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