I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
