She announced her abortion via fbk
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
