I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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