you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
