just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
