i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Michael Bay diarrhea
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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