Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Randomize
