Three words: puerto rican gang bang
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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