its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
