lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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