Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I think I died a long time ago.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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