He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
