I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
