If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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